Every week, I receive messages saying that I am rich, very rich. I have fortunes scattered in countries like Spain, South Africa, Holland, Portugal and the United States. However, with all the money I’ve earned in recent years, I still can not “buy” the happiness.

How do I know that? The answer is very simple: in the same way as I am notified by the awards that’m getting around the world, I also been notified that my girlfriend/fiancée/wife/lover are betraying me. I know of no one who has been so betrayed as I seem to be! They betray me all the time in many different places.

This must happen because my penis is very, very small. I don’t know how, but many people claim I “need” to increase the size of my penis. This not to mention that I am impotent, otherwise, why would I receive advertisements for Viagra (and similar) all the time? I think my girlfriend/fiancée/wife/lover is telling everyone about it.

I think all this betrayal is leaving me very depressed. I am a very sad man. So sad that my sadness can be felt across the Atlantic, because what other explanation could exist to the fact that I constantly receive messages offering “pills of happiness”?

Another reason that makes me be very sad, is that there are so many videos circulating on the internet about me. Suddenly I became more famous than Paris Hilton. I never see one, but if they are sending me emails about this, must be because there is a legion of people watching my pornographic videos on the internet.

I am also being processed legally by several people in different locations and for different reasons. And I don’t paid the IRS and the government notifies me every week about that. I think this is happening because of all that money I won in lotteries in different continents in recent years.

But there is hope, as always appears someone in love with me, claiming to be the great love of my life. That is good because who would want a rich guy like me with so many problems, like a penis so small that even in Canada people are aware of this?